insecuritiess ... & my best friend.

to start off, i wanna say that my best friend is gorgeous. and because of her having the body i'd love, having the eyes that could make anyone smile, and having gorgoeus hair .. my insecurities go through the roof. and it doesn't help that my boy friend seems to think she's just as gorgeous. and we've recently started working out together, and that scares me because that means she's going to only look better. see, she isn't stick thin. she has that figure eight body girls die for ... litterally. so i'm trying my best to remember how beautiful i am, and i'm also trying to remember two girls can be beautiful!!!! but it's hard. sometimes when i get around her i feel like i'm disappearing. and tonight i made my boy friend promise me he wouldn't leave me for a prettier girl .. or any girl for that matter. lets see if he keeps it. i love him to death ... but sometimes ... sometimes i just don't know. it's going to be hard remembering that i can be beautiful at any size. but her having the size i want, blah, it makes me jealous sometimes. and so i'm going to say the things people shouldn't .. i'm kinda jealous of my best friend = i hope this feeling goes away. because it's not fair. blah. i have problems... right!? good night blogging world. thanks for letting me express myself without judgement ;)